As young girls growing up, we are taught above all to behave, to be nurturing and pleasing to those around us.
We are shown again and again that the most important thing is to stay quiet, and SMILE.
Very bloody annoying.
As we get older, the consequences of these teachings really show up in our interactions as adults, particularly in our personal, intimate and romantic relationships.
How does it show up? Again and again I find in my private coaching clients that when they feel vulnerable they tend to show up as victims. Because being submissive is a safe space for women in our private lives.
But when we enter into romantic relationships it leads to a heavy imbalance. It also ensures having successful balanced relationships are virtually impossible. Being victims means we lurch from drama to drama.
But, and this is the point, we don’t know what else to do.
When you’ve been told not to rock the boat, when you’ve been told to bloody smile, (again how annoying is that???), and to conform, then its hard to find a place of power for yourself and to stay feminine within that space.
Definition of a Victim: [a person who has come to feel helpless and passive in the face of misfortune or ill-treatment]
How are you meant to be in a relationship with a man and allow him to protect you and cherish you when you a) earn more than him, b) had to do everything yourself?
The pivot we need to make as the women of our generation is to learn how to feel vulnerable and feel STRONG instead of feeling vulnerable and a victim.
Scary scary crap isn’t it? Let me break it down.
Being vulnerable is an interesting mental approach.
The dictionary defines ‘vulnerable’ as being weak.
Let me introduce you to my definition. For me, being vulnerable -
1. It’s the opposite of being a victim;
2. Its emotionally powerful;
3. Its being receptive to circumstances whilst staying in a state of calmness;
4. Its being authentic and aligned.
5. It’s a lack of aggression.
When you are in alignment, you know what you want, who you are, why you do what you do, being open and peaceful and calm? Its super strong.
Its pure power.
CEO & Founder Nosh Detox Delivery Ltd
PS. If you'd like a chat, book in a call with me.